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  • A painting of a bird beside the text "I'm too old for this new bullshit"ALT
    → 1:01 PM, May 21
  • A painting of a bird beside the text "great news- you're completely fucking wrong"ALT
    → 1:00 PM, May 20
  • A painting of a bird beside the text "I love you but you're kind of a dumbass"ALT
    → 1:02 PM, May 19
  • A painting of a bird beside the text "this guy keeps finding new excuses not to fuck off"ALT
    → 1:00 PM, May 18
  • A painting of a bird beside the text "let's see you try it, jackass"ALT
    → 1:00 PM, May 17
  • A painting of a bird beside the text "fuck off, dickbat"ALT
    → 1:00 PM, May 16
  • A painting of a bird beside the text "I am fuckin' traumatized"ALT
    → 1:00 PM, May 15
  • A painting of a bird beside the text "i'd love it if today could be just a little less fucked up"ALT
    → 1:01 PM, May 14
  • A painting of a bird beside the text "oh now what the fuck"ALT
    → 1:01 PM, May 13
  • A painting of a bird beside the text "exactly what kind of dipshit do you think i am?"ALT
    → 1:01 PM, May 12
  • A painting of a bird beside the text "do you fucking hear yourself right now?"ALT
    → 1:01 PM, May 11
  • A painting of a bird beside the text "I would love to hear why you think you shouldn't fuck off"ALT
    → 1:00 PM, May 10
  • A painting of a bird beside the text "maybe one day i'll tire of dunking on internet dipshits, but that day ain't today"ALT
    → 1:00 PM, May 9
  • A painting of a bird beside the text "y'all have lost your fuckin' brains somewhere"ALT
    → 1:00 PM, May 7
  • A woodcut of a bird beside the text "what time were you planning to fuck off?"ALT
    → 1:01 PM, May 6
  • A painting of a bird beside the text "i'm not gonna waste another second of my life on this bullshit"ALT
    → 1:00 PM, May 5
  • A painting of a bird beside the text "why the fuck is he still talking to me?"ALT
    → 1:00 PM, May 4
  • A painting of a bird beside the text "there's not enough space in my brain for this shit"ALT
    → 1:00 PM, May 3
  • A woodcut of a bird beside the text "has no one suggested that you eat shit?"ALT
    → 1:00 PM, May 2
  • A painting of a bird beside the text "this couldn't have happened to a bigger piece of shit"ALT
    → 1:00 PM, May 1
  • A painting of a bird beside the text "can we go back to the start of this conversation and not have it"ALT
    → 1:00 PM, Apr 30
  • A painting of a bird beside the text "i can't be the only one who sees this shit"ALT
    → 1:00 PM, Apr 29
  • A woodcut of a bird beside the text "i see that you fucked off unsuccessfully"ALT
    → 1:47 PM, Apr 28
  • A painting of a bird beside the text "here comes another dipshit making up reasons to be mad at a bird cartoon"ALT
    → 1:00 PM, Apr 27
  • A woodcut of a bird beside the text "NO ONE HERE ORDERED A FUCKIN FIASCO"ALT
    → 1:01 PM, Apr 26
  • A painting of a bird beside the text "there are some things that you just can't fuckin' un-see"ALT
    → 1:01 PM, Apr 25
  • A woodcut of a bird beside the text "YOU GIANT DUMBASS"ALT
    → 1:01 PM, Apr 24
  • A painting of a bird beside the text "you seem to have put a lot of effort into this bullshit"ALT
    → 1:01 PM, Apr 23
  • A woodcut of a bird beside the text "GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF SHITBURG"ALT
    → 1:01 PM, Apr 22
  • A painting of a bird beside the text "i can't believe i fell for that shit again"ALT
    → 1:00 PM, Apr 21
  • A woodcut of a bird beside the text "this has been the opposite of fun"ALT
    → 1:00 PM, Apr 20
  • A painting of a bird beside the text "do i look like a mother fuckin' debate club?"ALT
    → 1:00 PM, Apr 19
  • A woodcut of a bird beside the text "you stupid piece of shit"ALT
    → 1:00 PM, Apr 18
  • A painting of a bird beside the text "what in the dairy-free fuck"ALT
    → 1:00 PM, Apr 17
  • A painting of a bird beside the text "as a gift to us all, would you consider shutting the fuck up?"ALT
    → 1:00 PM, Apr 16
  • A woodcut of a bird beside the text "HOW DOES ONE BECOME A CERTIFIED DUMBFUCK?"ALT
    → 1:01 PM, Apr 15
  • A painting of a bird beside the text "thanks for the bullshit I guess"ALT
    → 1:00 PM, Apr 14
  • A painting of a bird beside the text "you're too late – i've already heard this bullshit"ALT
    → 1:00 PM, Apr 13
  • A painting of a bird beside the text "by god you are a stupid motherfucker"ALT
    → 1:01 PM, Apr 12
  • A painting of a bird beside the text "what a miserable assbag"ALT
    → 1:00 PM, Apr 11
  • A woodcut of a bird beside the text "Oh my god why the fuck"ALT
    → 1:00 PM, Apr 10
  • A painting of a bird beside the text "are you sure you wouldn't rather fuck yourself?"ALT
    → 1:01 PM, Apr 9
  • A painting of a bird beside the text "get bent, dumbass"ALT
    → 1:00 PM, Apr 8
  • A painting of a bird beside the text "i can't keep up with all these dipshits who need to fuck off"ALT
    → 1:00 PM, Apr 7
  • A painting of a bird beside the text "you just won stupid-ass motherfucker of the day"ALT
    → 1:01 PM, Apr 6
  • A painting of a bird beside the text "i'm glad that we could solve this problem by yelling at each other on the fucking internet"ALT
    → 1:00 PM, Apr 5
  • A painting of a bird beside the text "motherfucker you do not  want to hear my actual opinion"ALT
    → 1:01 PM, Apr 4
  • A painting of a bird beside the text "Someone thought that shit was good"ALT
    → 1:00 PM, Apr 3
  • A woodcut of a bird beside the text "have some fuckin wine"ALT
    → 1:00 PM, Apr 2
  • A painting of a bird beside the text "this shit just makes me sad"ALT
    → 1:00 PM, Apr 1
  • A painting of a bird beside the text "Congratulations on your induction into the fuck-up hall of fame "ALT
    → 1:00 PM, Mar 31
  • I need your motherfucking votes

    What’s up, bird friends? Your pal Effin’ Birds has been nominated for another Webby Award, this time in the Animal category, so I’m facing off against a century old publishing giant and a fuckin’ television network.

    You can help some jackass who makes bird comics for a living defeat those impossibly large competitors by clicking here and voting for me. Let’s make this more like the time I beat Jimmy Fallon and less like that time I lost to Ted Lasso.

    → 12:48 PM, Mar 31
  • A painting of a bird beside the text "what in the goat-fucking pope are you talking about?"ALT
    → 1:00 PM, Mar 30
  • A painting of a bird beside the text "where I come from we use this shit called “thinking”"ALT
    → 1:01 PM, Mar 29
  • A painting of a bird beside the text "what the fuck did you just say you did"ALT
    → 1:00 PM, Mar 28
  • A painting of a bird beside the text "you're like a wizard of terrible fucking ideas"ALT
    → 1:00 PM, Mar 27
  • A painting of a bird beside the text "i'm not sure that this could be any more fucked up"ALT
    → 1:00 PM, Mar 26
  • A painting of a bird beside the text "log the fuck off"ALT
    → 1:01 PM, Mar 25
  • A painting of a bird beside the text "you credulous asshat"ALT
    → 1:00 PM, Mar 24
  • A painting of a bird beside the text "what in the almighy christing fuck are you talking about"ALT
    → 1:00 PM, Mar 23
  • A painting of a bird beside the text "bullshit incoming"ALT
    → 1:00 PM, Mar 22
  • A painting of a bird beside the text "maybe consider not being such a huge asshole at work"ALT
    → 1:01 PM, Mar 21
  • A painting of a bird beside the text "i'm really not sure why i read this shit every day"ALT
    → 1:01 PM, Mar 20
  • A painting of a bird beside the text "thanks for hijacking the conversation with your bullshit"ALT
    → 1:00 PM, Mar 19
  • A painting of a bird beside the text "thankfully some mediocre fuckin' man is here to tell us all how to live"ALT
    → 1:01 PM, Mar 18
  • A painting of a bird beside the text "which of you fucking idiots is responsible for this bullshit"ALT
    → 1:00 PM, Mar 17
  • A painting of a bird beside the text "i always wondered what would happen if we put a total fuckin' moron in charge"ALT
    → 1:00 PM, Mar 16
  • A painting of a bird beside the text "how the fuck are you not fired"ALT
    → 1:00 PM, Mar 15
  • A painting of a bird beside the text "this shit is easy to fix if you live in cuckoo fuckin' delusion land"ALT
    → 1:02 PM, Mar 14
  • A painting of a bird beside the text "I really enjoyed that time when you fucked off"ALT
    → 1:00 PM, Mar 13
  • A painting of a bird beside the text "there's no excuse for being such a gigantic shitbucket"ALT
    → 1:00 PM, Mar 12
  • A painting of a bird beside the text "everyone loves your dingbat bullshit"ALT
    → 1:01 PM, Mar 11
  • A woodcut of a bird beside the text "I WOULD LOVE IT IF YOU COULD SPARE A MOMENT TO FUCK OFF"ALT
    → 1:01 PM, Mar 10
  • A painting of a bird beside the text "Someday, somewhere, someone will truly understand just how fucked up this was"ALT
    → 1:01 PM, Mar 9
  • A painting of a bird beside the text "looks like there's no escaping this bullshit"ALT
    → 2:01 PM, Mar 8
  • A painting of a bird beside the text "nobody fucking asked"ALT
    → 2:00 PM, Mar 7
  • A woodcut of a bird beside the text "i can't say that  i expected this fuckin' dickshow"ALT
    → 2:01 PM, Mar 6
  • A painting of a bird beside the text "you've got too much fucking free time, man"ALT
    → 2:00 PM, Mar 5
  • A painting of a bird beside the text "knock that shit off"ALT
    → 2:00 PM, Mar 4
  • A painting of a bird beside the text "we really fucked the dog on this one"ALT
    → 2:00 PM, Mar 3
  • A woodcut of a bird beside the text "Somebody set off the dumbfuck detector"ALT
    → 2:01 PM, Mar 2
  • A painting of a bird beside the text "Shut the fuck up, i'm talking"ALT
    → 2:00 PM, Mar 1
  • A painting of a bird beside the text "have you tried not fucking up?"ALT
    → 2:02 PM, Feb 28
  • A woodcut of a bird beside the text "fuck all you guys"ALT
    → 2:01 PM, Feb 27
  • A painting of a bird beside the text "i'd like to be reimbursed for the time i spent listening to your bullshit"ALT
    → 2:01 PM, Feb 26
  • A painting of a bird beside the text "what an oblivious jackass"ALT
    → 2:00 PM, Feb 25
  • A painting of a bird beside the text "I'm not sticking around to see how this shit ends"ALT
    → 2:02 PM, Feb 24
  • A painting of a bird beside the text "i'm operating at a serious fuck deficit"ALT
    → 2:00 PM, Feb 23
  • A painting of a bird beside the text "Glad to see that you still have terrible fucking opinions"ALT
    → 2:00 PM, Feb 22
  • A woodcut of a bird beside the text "maybe tomorrow you'll be less of a shithead"ALT
    → 2:00 PM, Feb 21
  • A painting of a bird beside the text "it's time for you to get right the fuck out of my life"ALT
    → 2:00 PM, Feb 20
  • A painting of a bird beside the text "what the fuck is the deal with your reading comprehension"ALT
    → 2:00 PM, Feb 19
  • A woodcut of a bird beside the text "fuck off with that shit"ALT
    → 2:00 PM, Feb 18
  • A painting of a bird beside the text "I'm not looking forward to tomorrow's bullshit"ALT
    → 2:00 PM, Feb 17
  • A painting of a bird beside the text "looks like I got here just in time for the stupid shit"ALT
    → 2:00 PM, Feb 16
  • A woodcut of a bird beside the text "we both know that's bullshit"ALT
    → 2:00 PM, Feb 15
  • A painting of a bird beside the text "honestly, i've already heard dumber fuckin' ideas this week"ALT
    → 2:00 PM, Feb 14
  • A painting of a bird beside the text "what a fuckwit"ALT
    → 2:00 PM, Feb 13
  • A woodcut of a bird beside the text "oh honey no"ALT
    → 2:00 PM, Feb 12
  • A woodcut of a bird beside the text "you are testing my patience"ALT
    → 2:00 PM, Feb 11
  • A painting of a bird beside the text "what a fuckin' dingus"ALT
    → 2:00 PM, Feb 10
  • A painting of a bird beside the text "I could do with considerably less bullshit"ALT
    → 2:00 PM, Feb 9
  • A painting of a bird beside the text "it must be a great comfort that nothing in your fuckin' life has ever been your fault"ALT
    → 2:00 PM, Feb 8
  • A woodcut of a bird beside the text "remind me: are you a fucking imbecile?"ALT
    → 2:01 PM, Feb 7
  • A painting of a bird beside the text "I assure you that I am in no way shitting your dick"ALT
    → 2:01 PM, Feb 6
  • A woodcut of a bird beside the text "maybe try not being a dickhead"ALT
    → 2:00 PM, Feb 5
  • A painting of a bird beside the text "did you really just leave me a fucking voicemail?"ALT
    → 2:01 PM, Feb 4
  • A woodcut of a bird beside the text "go fuck a tree"ALT
    → 2:02 PM, Feb 3
  • A painting of a bird beside the text "what the shit are you doing?"ALT
    → 2:00 PM, Feb 2
  • A woodcut of a bird beside the text "brace yourself for bullshit"ALT
    → 2:00 PM, Feb 1
  • A painting of a bird beside the text "I believe I speak for all of us when I say fuck that guy"ALT
    → 2:00 PM, Jan 31
  • A painting of a bird beside the text "where's the fuckin' gin?"ALT
    → 2:00 PM, Jan 29
  • A woodcut of a bird beside the text "UNSURPRISINGLY  YOU ARE FULL OF SHIT"ALT
    → 2:01 PM, Jan 28
  • A painting of a bird beside the text "are you fuckin' lost?"ALT
    → 2:00 PM, Jan 27
  • A woodcut of a bird beside the text "Surely you're not that fucking stupid"ALT
    → 2:01 PM, Jan 26
  • A painting of a bird beside the text "Swear to fuck, i've met smarter potatoes"ALT
    → 2:00 PM, Jan 25
  • A painting of a bird beside the text "man, fuck all of this"ALT
    → 2:00 PM, Jan 24
  • A painting of a bird beside the text "i'm just gonna hide over here until all this shit dies down"ALT
    → 2:00 PM, Jan 23
  • Winter Wonderland my ass.

    Winter Wonderland my ass.

    Don’t miss Threadless’ $14 t-shirt sale, which is on until January 29th. Save big and then wear your favourite Effin’ Birds to a family gathering or workplace event.

    a t-shirt featuring an illustration of a bird above the text you complete fucking turnipALT
    → 12:08 PM, Jan 23
  • A woodcut of a bird beside the text "time for a vacation from your bullshit"ALT
    → 2:01 PM, Jan 22
  • A painting of a bird beside the text "why the fuck do I bother?"ALT
    → 2:01 PM, Jan 21
  • A painting of a bird beside the text "i can think of at least ten compelling arguments for you to fuck off"ALT
    → 2:00 PM, Jan 20
  • A painting of a bird beside the text "I imagine that you are always such a huge asshole"ALT
    → 2:01 PM, Jan 19
  • A woodcut of a bird beside the text "I do not need your shit"ALT
    → 2:01 PM, Jan 18
  • A painting of a bird beside the text "Oh look, it's some dumbshit from the internet"ALT
    → 2:00 PM, Jan 17
  • A woodcut of a bird beside the text "STEP AWAY FROM THE KEYBOARD, FUCKBEARD"ALT
    → 2:00 PM, Jan 16
  • A woodcut of a bird beside the text "i cannot see the end of this bullshit" ALT
    → 2:01 PM, Jan 15
  • A woodcut of a bird beside the text "scream into the void motherfucker" ALT
    → 2:00 PM, Jan 14
  • A painting of a bird beside the text "that shit was not great" ALT
    → 2:00 PM, Jan 13
  • A painting of a bird beside the text "fuck that, bye" ALT
    → 2:00 PM, Jan 12
  • A painting of a bird beside the text "i see that you've been promoted to chief executive shitfuck" ALT
    → 2:00 PM, Jan 11
  • A painting of a bird beside the text "cool your dicks" ALT
    → 2:00 PM, Jan 10
  • A woodcut of a bird beside the text "you want to explain that shit to me a second time?" ALT
    → 2:00 PM, Jan 9
  • A painting of a bird beside the text "brace yourself for a category 5 shitstorm"ALT
    → 2:00 PM, Jan 8
  • A woodcut of a bird beside the text "our expectations for you were low, but holy fuck"ALT
    → 2:00 PM, Jan 7
  • A painting of a bird beside the text "fucking off is a perfectly viable alternative to shutting the fuck up" ALT
    → 2:00 PM, Jan 6
  • A woodcut of a bird beside the text "is this a productive use of your time?" ALT
    → 2:00 PM, Jan 5
  • A painting of a bird beside the text "I expected bullshit, just not this much bullshit" ALT
    → 2:00 PM, Jan 4
  • A painting of a bird beside the text "not this shit again" ALT
    → 2:00 PM, Jan 3
  • A woodcut of a bird beside the text "begone, asshat" ALT
    → 2:00 PM, Jan 2
  • A painting of a bird beside the text "can you spare a moment to fuck off?" ALT
    → 2:00 PM, Jan 1
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