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  • A painting of a bird beside the text "cool your dicks"ALT
    → 2:01 PM, Dec 13
  • A painting of a bird beside the text "I am, in fact, the fanciest motherfucker"ALT
    → 2:01 PM, Dec 12
  • Give the gift of Effin’ Birds

    Do you know someone who needs some Effin’ Birds in their life? Great news: there are more ways than ever to make that happen.

    Effin’ Birds mugs, clothing, greeting cards and other fun items are available from Threadless. Order by December 15th to guarantee Christmas delivery with regular price shipping.


    Effin’ Birds wall calendars, weekly planners and day-to-day tear off calendars from Andrews McMeel are available in your local bookstore or at the big online places. If you follow these links to purchase them, sometimes I get a little kickback, but I actually make the most money when you buy them in your local shop.


    The uncut UK editions of Greetings From Effin’ Birds and the Effin’ Birds Field Guide are still on some store shelves in Canada, the US and the UK. Neither will be returning to print in their original forms thanks to the total fucking collapse of Unbound, my former UK publisher. Rest in piss, motherfuckers. In Canada, Indigo have a stock finder to check your local shop for a copy, as do Barnes & Noble in the USA. Get these while you can.

    But there’s good book news:

    The US edition of the Effin’ Birds Field Guide and my double deck of Effin’ Birds playing cards are widely available in local stores and online. If you follow these links to buy them, sometimes I get a little kickback, but like the calendars, local bookstores deliver the best royalty rate to me, so please support your local shop if you can. If they’re stocking my books, they have great taste and deserve to thrive.

    And you’ll be happy to hear that Ten Speed Press & Penguin Random House have picked up worldwide rights to Effin’ Birds, and that we have FOUR projects currently on the go that you’ll see over the next few years.

    Finally, if you’re in France (or just find Effin’ Birds in French very funny), Éditions Lapin have two volumes of translated Effin’ Birds comics plus a bunch of goofy merch in bookstores and online. And you can also find the French translations in Canada.

    → 11:21 AM, Dec 12
  • A painting of a bird beside the text "I'm yelling at you because you're a fucking idiot"ALT
    → 2:01 PM, Dec 11
  • A painting of a bird beside the text "you can't think of anything more productive to do with your fuckin' day"ALT
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  • A painting of a bird beside the text "you can't think of anything more productive to do with your fuckin' day"ALT
    → 2:00 PM, Dec 9
  • A painting of a bird beside the text "Christ on a liverwurst sandwich"ALT
    → 2:00 PM, Dec 8
  • A painting of a bird beside the text "fuck"ALT
    → 2:01 PM, Dec 7
  • A painting of a bird beside the text "that's some super depressing shit"ALT
    → 2:01 PM, Dec 6
  • A painting of a bird beside the text "avoiding all this bullshit is hard work"ALT
    → 2:01 PM, Dec 5
  • A painting of a bird beside the text "motherfucker talk to my lawyer"ALT
    → 2:02 PM, Dec 4
  • A painting of a bird beside the text "i do love it when dipshits embarrass themselves"ALT
    → 2:01 PM, Dec 3
  • A painting of a bird beside the text "reply guys can eat my fuckin nuts"ALT
    → 2:03 PM, Dec 2
  • A painting of a bird beside the text "turns out i'm fuckin' great at revenge"ALT
    → 2:02 PM, Dec 1
  • A painting of a bird beside the text "motherfucker shut up"ALT
    → 2:02 PM, Nov 30
  • A painting of a bird beside the text "this is some next-level dogshit"ALT
    → 2:02 PM, Nov 29
  • A painting of a bird beside the text "where would we be without this dumbass to fuck everything up?"ALT
    → 2:02 PM, Nov 28
  • A painting of a bird beside the text "nobody actually likes this shit"ALT
    → 2:01 PM, Nov 27
  • A painting of a bird beside the text "i've had enough of this bullshit to last me three lifetimes"ALT
    → 2:02 PM, Nov 26
  • A painting of a bird beside the text "welcome to our fuckin' shithole universe"ALT
    → 2:02 PM, Nov 25
  • A painting of a bird beside the text "that's enough fuckin screen  time for today, gramps"ALT
    → 2:03 PM, Nov 24
  • A painting of a bird beside the text "well, this is shit"ALT
    → 2:02 PM, Nov 23
  • A painting of a bird beside the text "good to know that your primary skill is talking shit on the computer"ALT
    → 2:02 PM, Nov 22
  • A painting of a bird beside the text "i forgot about all the dickheads around here"ALT
    → 2:03 PM, Nov 21
  • A painting of a bird beside the text "i have just witnessed a historically significant level of dumbass motherfuckery"ALT
    → 2:01 PM, Nov 20
  • A painting of a bird beside the text "i'm gonna feel a whole lot better when i wake up from this fuckin nightmare"ALT
    → 2:02 PM, Nov 19
  • A painting of a bird beside the text "mellow the fuck out"ALT
    → 2:01 PM, Nov 18
  • A painting of a bird beside the text "it's unfortunate that you're such a piece of shit"ALT
    → 2:01 PM, Nov 17
  • A painting of a bird beside the text "it's a lot easier to talk shit than to solve problems"ALT
    → 2:01 PM, Nov 16
  • A painting of a bird beside the text "Oh boy, out of context bullshit!"ALT
    → 2:01 PM, Nov 15
  • A painting of a bird beside the text "anybody here consider using their fuckin' brains today?"ALT
    → 2:00 PM, Nov 14
  • A painting of a bird beside the text "Save that shit for a gullible motherfucker"ALT
    → 2:02 PM, Nov 13
  • A painting of a bird beside the text "what the fuck-shitting christ is going on?"ALT
    → 2:01 PM, Nov 12
  • A painting of a bird beside the text "i guess no one thought this shit through"ALT
    → 2:02 PM, Nov 11
  • A painting of a bird beside the text "don't underestimate just how fuckin' petty i can be"ALT
    → 2:02 PM, Nov 10
  • A painting of a bird beside the text "i'll just be over here ignoring your bullshit"ALT
    → 2:02 PM, Nov 9
  • A painting of a bird beside the text "do people usually like it when you do that shit?"ALT
    → 2:00 PM, Nov 8
  • A painting of a bird beside the text "exactly who the fuck asked you?"ALT
    → 2:00 PM, Nov 7
  • A painting of a bird beside the text "what the fuck happened?"ALT
    → 2:01 PM, Nov 6
  • A painting of a bird beside the text "nothing is quite as satisfying as watching some jackass whine about self-inflicted bullshit"ALT
    → 2:01 PM, Nov 5
  • A painting of a bird beside the text "jesus butt-humping christ"ALT
    → 2:02 PM, Nov 4
  • A painting of a bird beside the text "i am so fucking exasperated"ALT
    → 2:00 PM, Nov 3
  • A painting of a bird beside the text "jam that discourse right back into your ass"ALT
    → 1:02 PM, Nov 2
  • A painting of a bird beside the text "why would even the dumbest motherfucker want this"ALT
    → 1:01 PM, Nov 1
  • A painting of a bird beside the text "this is not the time for horseshit"ALT
    → 1:02 PM, Oct 31
  • A painting of a bird beside the text "Get your shit together"ALT
    → 1:02 PM, Oct 30
  • A painting of a bird beside the text "is it hard work to be such an asshole all the time?"ALT
    → 1:02 PM, Oct 29
  • A painting of a bird beside the text "how can i keep feeling more overwhelmed?"ALT
    → 1:03 PM, Oct 28
  • A painting of a bird beside the text "this shit seems like a spectacular fuckin' use of my time"ALT
    → 1:03 PM, Oct 27
  • A painting of a bird beside the text "no fuckin' shit"ALT
    → 1:02 PM, Oct 26
  • A painting of a bird beside the text "what kind of dim fuckin' dinglepuss do you take me for"ALT
    → 1:02 PM, Oct 25
  • A painting of a bird beside the text "all i'm asking for is one bullshit-free day"ALT
    → 1:02 PM, Oct 24
  • A painting of a bird beside the text "i was excited to hear that you had fucked off"ALT
    → 1:03 PM, Oct 23
  • the moral of this story is go fuck yourselfALT
    → 1:01 PM, Oct 22
  • A painting of a bird beside the text "oh honey no"ALT
    → 1:01 PM, Oct 21
  • A painting of a bird beside the text "that's my cue to get the fuck out of here"ALT
    → 1:01 PM, Oct 20
  • A painting of a bird beside the text "time to start fucking shit up"ALT
    → 1:02 PM, Oct 19
  • A painting of a bird beside the text "you don't need to explain it again -  i understood that it was bullshit the first time"ALT
    → 1:02 PM, Oct 18
  • A painting of a bird beside the text "it was my childhood dream to deal with stupid bullshit every day"ALT
    → 1:02 PM, Oct 17
  • A painting of a bird beside the text "well, fuck"ALT
    → 1:01 PM, Oct 16
  • A painting of a bird beside the text "even you're not gullible enough to believe that shit"ALT
    → 1:00 PM, Oct 15
  • A painting of a bird beside the text "as an expert in fucked up shit, this is some really fucked up shit"ALT
    → 1:01 PM, Oct 14
  • A painting of a bird beside the text "Shut your fucking stink hole already"ALT
    → 1:01 PM, Oct 13
  • A painting of a bird beside the text "who died and made you the king of stupid shit"ALT
    → 1:01 PM, Oct 12
  • A painting of a bird beside the text "Because fuck you, that's why"ALT
    → 1:02 PM, Oct 11
  • A painting of a bird beside the text "this shit is not my idea of a good time"ALT
    → 1:02 PM, Oct 10
  • A painting of a bird beside the text "life is too short to entertain this bullshit"ALT
    → 1:02 PM, Oct 9
  • A painting of a bird beside the text "Christ on a fucking submarine sandwich, what the fuck is this shit"ALT
    → 1:02 PM, Oct 8
  • A painting of a bird beside the text "yeah, man, fuck off"ALT
    → 1:03 PM, Oct 7
  • A painting of a bird beside the text "shit's really fucked"ALT
    → 1:03 PM, Oct 6
  • A painting of a bird beside the text "Sorry that being a decent fucking human being is so inconvenient for you"ALT
    → 1:02 PM, Oct 5
  • A painting of a bird beside the text "hopefully someone will come along to kick your ass"ALT
    → 1:00 PM, Oct 4
  • A painting of a bird beside the text "i haven't really had the time to be depressed about this shit"ALT
    → 1:03 PM, Oct 3
  • A painting of a bird beside the text "Some asshole thought this was a great idea"ALT
    → 1:01 PM, Oct 2
  • A painting of a bird beside the text "i'm fuckin exhausted from being angry all the time"ALT
    → 1:02 PM, Oct 1
  • A painting of a bird beside the text "let's get back to bullying millionaires"ALT
    → 1:02 PM, Sep 30
  • A painting of a bird beside the text "that shit got old in a hurry"ALT
    → 1:02 PM, Sep 29
  • A painting of a bird beside the text "i can smell that bullshit from here"ALT
    → 1:02 PM, Sep 28
  • A painting of a bird beside the text "dipshit season starts earlier every year"ALT
    → 1:01 PM, Sep 27
  • A painting of a bird beside the text "i didn't want to see that shit!"ALT
    → 1:03 PM, Sep 26
  • A painting of a bird beside the text "maybe one day you'll reflect on how fuckin' stupid this made you look"ALT
    → 1:03 PM, Sep 25
  • A painting of a bird beside the text "if only there was a cure for being a shithead"ALT
    → 1:02 PM, Sep 24
  • A painting of a bird beside the text "this is a great time for you to shut the fuck up"ALT
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  • My first ever comic book cover, for Sweet Paprika: Open For Business #5, drops on June 25th. Head to…

    A box of comic books. The cover illustration is a dachshund reading previous issues of the comic and looking at the viewer reproachfully.ALT

    My first ever comic book cover, for Sweet Paprika: Open For Business #5, drops on June 25th. Head to your local comic book shop, or catch up with me on tour to grab a signed copy. You can see my upcoming schedule at https://effinbirds.com/appearances, and you can find out more about the comic at https://eatf.art/dog.

    You should buy lots of copies so that I get to do more of these.

    → 7:41 PM, Jun 19
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  • A painting of a bird beside the text "can someone wake me up when this shit is over"ALT
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  • Statement on Unbound


    June 6th, 2025

    Unbound, my former UK publisher, owe me a lot of money.

    What’s worse, though, is that during their collapse, it came to light that they were underreporting my sales and shorting my royalty payments.

    So, I haven’t been paid for the last 18 months of book sales, and when they were paying me, they were underpaying by a lot. It was gutting to hear that my second book had flopped in the US, selling under 1000 copies. Two years later I found out that it actually sold over 10,000 copies and the reason that it was selling no new copies week to week was because there were no copies left to sell.

    John Mitchison, Unbound’s publisher, posted a heartfelt apology yesterday, announcing that he was stepping away from the business because authors are not getting their money. I feel a lot of empathy for John, because he, too, lost his dream to Unbound’s financial mismanagement. But the act of destroying a creative person’s confidence to hide the company’s monetary losses is unforgivable.

    It took me two years to get over the feeling of rejection that came from a book that, it turned out, was successful and should have had a second printing.

    That fucking sucks.


    p.s. go ahead and buy my books at your local bookstore. It’s impossible to know which copies I got paid properly for and which ones I didn’t, so don’t penalize your local shop. And if you’re feeling extra generous, come see me at an in-person event or grab something fun from my Threadless store.

    → 11:52 AM, Jun 6
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  • For my 2026 Day To Day Calendar, we’re doing something different: every weekend you get to make your…

    For my 2026 Day To Day Calendar, we’re doing something different: every weekend you get to make your own Effin’ Birds comic, fill-in-the-blanks style.

    Preorders are live at good bookstores right now! Call your local shop or visit eatf.art for some online ordering options.

    Fill in the blanks and watch magic happen.

    → 8:23 AM, May 16
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  • My 5 word acceptance speech for the 2025 Webby Awards.

    → 4:04 PM, May 12
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  • I won the 2025 People’s Voice Webby Award for Social Media: Weird. Follow along at @thewebbyawards…

    I won the 2025 People’s Voice Webby Award for Social Media: Weird. Follow along at @thewebbyawards on social or webbyawards.com tonight at 7 to see all the best moments from the awards show.

    → 11:19 AM, May 12
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  • An important Webby Awards outfit detail.

    An important Webby Awards outfit detail.

    Tune in Monday night to see the awards show and hear my five word speech.

    → 9:27 AM, May 9
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  • Express your displeasure with how fucked up all this dystopian shit is for just $12. Sale ends…

    Express your displeasure with how fucked up all this dystopian shit is for just $12. Sale ends tomorrow. https://eatf.art/fuds

    → 11:48 AM, May 7
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  • My Webby Awards speech has to be five words long, no more, no less, exactly five words. Thanks a lot, Adrien Brody!
Previously I said, "Mom, it's a real job," and "continuing to violate community guidelines." Any ideas for this year?ALT
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  • Vote for Effin’ Birds!

    Your pal Effin’ Birds is nominated for a Webby Award.

    Vote for me as the best Weird account on the internet! Or vote for Zeppelinmoon, just keep the brands out of Weird. Weird is for the people!

    https://vote.webbyawards.com/PublicVoting#/2025/social/general-social/weird

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  • Your pal Effin’ Birds did a cover for issue #5 of Sweet Paprika: Open For Business, out June 4th…

    Your pal Effin’ Birds did a cover for issue #5 of Sweet Paprika: Open For Business, out June 4th from Image. Tell your local comic book shop that you want Cover D, aka the Dog In Heaven cover, order code 0425IM410. https://imagecomics.com/comics/releases/mirka-andolfos-sweet-paprika-open-for-business-5-of-5

    Huge thanks to Steve Orlando for wanting me on this project, and to Mostafa Moussa for his inks that pulled the whole thing together.

    Here’s me ‘n Mos at Dragon Con last year, when he delivered the finished inks. Feel free to identify my excellent cosplay.

    Here’s the lucky Effin’ Birds fan (whose name I do not remember and I feel really bad about it) who snagged the original just hours hours after I saw it for the first time.

    And here’s a photo from last summer at Freddy Beach Fan Fest in New Brunswick, Canada, where, if you look closely, you can see me figuring out the dog.

    computer, enhance

    TECH NERD SHIT: Someone is gonna ask, so that’s a ReMarkable 2 with a Staedtler Mars Lumograph Digital stylus. This was my go-to combo for both writing and drawing until recently when I upgraded to a ReMarkable Paper Pro. It’s an upgrade in almost every way: colour, storage, speed, battery life. I’m a little bummed that the Paper Pro uses a proprietary stylus, though, because one of the joys of the 2 was this wide world of input devices that have different feels in the hand and different tactile feedback (harder and softer tips, different barrels, etc). The combo of the Staedtler barrel, a hard Mitsubishi / WACOM tip (stolen from the Mitsubishi Hi-Uni Digital stylus, my second-favourite, just a little too short for my big hands), and the pebbled glass of the ReMarkable 2 convinced my body that I was working with a pencil on paper and made me instantly comfortable.

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  • expectations kicking your ass? yeah, mine too. find this button (and dozens more) at…

    expectations kicking your ass? yeah, mine too. find this button (and dozens more) at https://effinbirds.threadless.com

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  • Join me at a birthday party for a parrot

    I’m not even joking. Scully the parrot is turning 30, so on March 13th we’re taking over The Raven Gallery in Toronto to celebrate. RSVP and more details: https://eatf.art/30

    First drink is on Scully, but the bar is what’s paying for the event, so please feel free to have more than one. BYOB (bring your own bird).

    Please note that I will not be selling merch or signing at this event. You can check my appearance page for details on where I’ll be doing that next. Toronto Comicon starts the day after Scully’s birthday, and I’ll be there all three days at table P112.

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